They offered me the office offered me the shop, they said I’d better take anything they got ….
I was away for the weekend in Brisbane last weekend and it was the awesome I learned about Technical things and even presented for the first time in more than 3 years. I really enjoyed that and will blog about it shortly but this is about another lesson I learned and something that make me a bit sad about choices we foist upon girls and how it becomes a singular turning point for ruined lives.
After the event we all went out for drinks and food. Afterward a few of the boys kicked on for a BIG night out, as often happens when away we headed out on a trip to the Casino and then more bars. Toward the end of the night we found a pub on the corner and said hello to the obligatory Islander Bouncer and headed in side. The things we noticed as we entered may have been different for each of us, but here is what I noticed:
- Not Very well lit
- Not very full compared to other places we had been
- Australia vs Wales on the Big screen
- Drinks well priced compared to other places
- AND Boobies of course the Boobies
Yep we were in a Titty Bar
Having gone to the World cup with Libby and the Kids how could I walk out on a Rugby game? AND I had not seen any sport in any of the other places
I’m a tiny bit unsure on the details of how we come to the discussion that has stuck with me but be assured it was probably because the girls sit and chat with punters because there are maybe four advantages:
- Time to just sit
- Boys buy drinks at a greater rate if the waitress is right there
- Boys buy drinks for the Waitresses <- Double Edged Sword more about that soon
- They “sell” Table Dances … The Dancer puts on clothes, moves seductively on the table and takes off the Bra and Lingerie shorts leaving the “Thong” style panties she began with. I understand the point is titillation that comes from the expectation of what is revealed next but isn’t this the girl you have just been chatting with? Do some men really have 3 minute memories?
Anyway we had a Waitress Sit with us and oddly we had questions (man we are geeks) and they were about:
- What kind of job is it?
- Don’t you feel demeaned?
- Is this really just a strip joint?
- How long have you been doing this?
Oddly well I thought it was, and it is maybe because we are Fathers of Daughters there was a lot of eye contact going on. Okay TOTAL GEEKS
So we drank some more and watched the rugby and chatted with let’s call her Tiffany (she gave a name which would have been a fake name but I forgot it)
She told a story of how she has had some problems at work mostly related to drinking partly because the punters expect it and partly because it is a job worth forgetting.
This is sad all by itself but I am more saddened by these things she told us:
- She has been taking her clothes off for work for more than 6 years
- She comes from elsewhere in Australia but that area has no opportunities either
- With a work history you would not put on a resume she is pretty stuck
- She deeply wants a job where people don’t touch you, the nudity was secondary and less a concern
- Jobs should not involve having to wear a disguise to get home un-stalked
- Drinking at work to make your work bearable causes additional problems that could be job ending. (I would think this is an OH&S issue between her and work safe)
The reason I am so touched and saddened this much later is …
- This Girl was articulate
- She spoke about the establishment in a positive manner and expressed the marketing benefits – It is restaurant and public bar with staff who happen to be undressed. They are not a strip club (yet)
- She was open and respectful (I could not say the same for many of her peers)
- She legitimately seemed to want a change but didn’t know how to get out
- After 6 Years I’m not sure how anyone will give her a chance
- I thought she had a lot going for her and from the small sample of our conversation she would not be a detriment to an organisation in a reception type role, and seemed smart enough to grow to a much better position.
My question to you is how can a person get out from under circumstances like these?
Should I just harden up? I went there and made a market for this type of thing! She bought her ticket and I only feel bad because i am projecting her circumstance on my children as a possible future which I am able to prevent and so could her parents if they were better parents.
I can’t help to feel for girls in these circumstances and my world view was changed by talking and not ogling. How do we as a community change this for people who are seeking to do more mainstream things after making such sad choices
“REALLY I just want a job where people don’t touch me” WTF is this too much to ask and I have no answers just a desire for change in the world.
Let me know if this is a problem being solved and by whom.
Sad really just unhappy about this.